Recommended Reading - "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace

Sorry guys, this book probably won't help you out much, since its directed towards women.   

    I borrowed this book from a married friend of mine after having a conversation with them about how easy it is for a woman to become too "independent" in relationships if they live on their own for a while.  And while that certainly was something I needed to think about, that wasn't the greatest benefit I got from reading it. Mrs. Peace has filled these pages with a specific breakdown of what the Bible expects from godly wives and paired that with practical and accurate illustrations of the things we women face when considering or establishing a marriage.  Several of those principles may seem at total odds with our more liberal way of thinking today, but don't allow yourself to be distracted by thinking she's just promoting old conservative stereotypes on today's young women.  The real treasure in this volume lies in how she ties all the specific problems she addresses to a real, biblical solution clearly seen in specific verses.  It works, because those solutions are all rooted in the things we should already be doing to become more like Christ every day.  No other book I've read on this subject has so clearly rooted answers to marriage struggles into the daily Christian walk.   For that reason alone, I'm glad I read this.  I'm very encouraged that even if I don't agree 100% with every guideline the author has set down, I can be confident that if I am chasing after Jesus in everything, I have no reason to fear that my marriage will break down because of either me or things I can't handle.

    The other reason I'm glad I read this book is that this is the first one I've read that promotes a more conservative view of being a wife while realistically addressing that wives may need protection from their own husbands at times.  Growing up I also bought into the false idea that becoming a submissive wife was like giving them permission to beat on you, either physically, spiritually, or emotionally.  I knew deep down that couldn't be right, but somehow that idea that submission meant you never called your husband on his sin or protected yourself from his poor behavior still was beat into me as what was "expected" from a godly wife.  However Mrs. Peace demonstrates clearly from the Bible that a wife's role includes being used to gently reprove a husband's sin and thus build him up in his own faith.  And she shows that there are legitimate protections God puts in place that a wife has responsibility to avail herself of if her husband continues to behave in an ungodly manner.  That's why even though I'm still struggling with some of the guidelines she's outlined as a wife's duty in a marriage, I'm much more willing to accept her discussion as a whole.  Not only has she drawn everything from Scripture and related to the Christian's path, but she has also been incredibly realistic about the problems wives can find themselves facing.  By addressing these very real issues, I'm much more convinced that her conclusions hold water.

   This book is very worthwhile reading for any Christian lady either married or considering marriage in the future.  I would recommend that you read "The Power of Being A Woman" by Michelle McKinny Hammond first, to combat some of the thinking traps we've all gotten into about womanhood and submission if you've been in the church for any length of time.  Just remember to leave your hypersensitivity at the door, and you will find plenty to benefit you in these pages.

A Lesson From Biology - Why There's No Such Thing As "Status Quo"

Right now at my home church, we're very blessed to have our senior pastor Mark Lehmann and his wife home safe from sabbatical. I knew when we sent them on their well-earned break that we'd have to be prepared to keep up with him when they returned and boy, was I right! Its a good thing. Pastor Mark said last night at Wednesday service that he's found that when he just tries to maintain where he's at with God, he actually starts to lose ground. For that reason its important for all of us to keep moving forward after our Lord. And being the science nerd that I am, it hit me...that's just like the human body.

Most of you probably remember from high school that the body is composed of millions of tiny cells, each with their own characteristics and lifespans. In order for a human to gain mass and size as he develops from a child to adult, the cells in his body must divide and produce more cells at a rate much much faster than they die off. So if the average cell lives for ~1 month, the cells of a child will divide around twice as much as the cells of an adult during that lifespan, giving the child's body more mass.

The interesting thing is that once you become an adult, your cells still have to divide and produce offspring to keep you being you. They don't just sit there and stay the same all the time. Every time you eat, breathe, touch something, think something, or just plain exist with your environment you lose cells due to damage. So if your body didn't constantly produce replacements for those, along with replacements for the cells that naturally die, you'd cease to be a form anyone would recognize as human. This is a major cause of many diseases in the body, such as sickle cell anemia and osteoporosis. In addition to that each cell you are born with has a genetic timecode in it for the number of times it can divide without losing important DNA. Once that limit is reached there is no more cell division from that line. This is the fundamental cellular reason why we all age, we basically start to lose the body's ability to renew itself and maintain its form.

Here's the parallel: our bodies must constantly expend energy to grow in order for us not to die. There's a certain level of energy and effort required to keep us being us. Anything above and beyond that allows us to develop beyond our current state. If this is true for us physically, its certainly true of us spiritually; after all, we are uniquely physical-spiritual beings and many of the rules of physically mirror those of the spiritual realm. This is why there is no such thing as "status quo" for Christians. When we stop running after God, when we stop feeding on His Word or loving His people, when we stop praying and worshiping Him, we cut off our own lifesource. We start to age. We start to die inside. And then we wonder why He seems so distant, why we feel so empty, why we have little joy in our lives.

I'm currently poking at a brand new book called "The Me I Want To Be" from one of my favorite authors, John Ortberg. In it he very honestly talks about the difference between the "status quo" and flourishing in his own life, and why spiritual growth is vital to the everyday Christian. The point he tries to make is that all of us need to be intentional about our walk if we are going to survive as a Christian. It doesn't matter if you are a passionate person or not, a learned person or not, a hurting person, broken person, confused person, whatever. Every time you choose to make an effort with Christ, no matter how small, you are choosing to live. Our bodies make that choice for us automatically so we don't have to think about it much beyond eating the right kinds of foods and getting good sleep. Unfortunately we can't treat our new spiritual bodies the same way. We are saved, we are destined for heaven, and we won't ever lose that, BUT we have to choose: either we cross the finish line on our own two feet as heirs of the kingdom or we get dragged across by God's wind of motion as the kingdom charity cases. Diane Duane puts it like this in "High Wizardry" from her Young Wizard series:

Those who refuse to serve the Powers,
become the tools of the Powers.
Those who agree to serve the Powers,
themselves become the Powers.

Beware the Choice! Beware refusing it!

And its true. There's no such thing as "status quo", friends. Not in this Life.

Recommended Reading - "Anonymous" by Alicia Britt Chole

"Anonymous" is a very refreshing and accessible book to read on a topic most of us Christians don't like to think about - those times in our lives when it feels like no one is taking notice of all the work we've been doing, whether God or the people around us. I'm not sure where a lot of us get this idea, but for some reason people in the church seem to think that if you're not being celebrated or appreciated for the service you give in the church or the work you do at your job that you are somehow being maligned or taken advantage of. Success is equated with people's recognition of you or being given a leadership position. When our dreams take a long time to actually come to term, or when we have to work for a long time without reward, many of us ask if God is really there or if He really knows what He's doing with our lives. Ever been there? I sure have. The ironic thing is that so often we get frantic to be fruitful because its uncomfortable to admit we are in that place.

I had never heard of Alicia Chole before she came to Cornerstone and gave her testimony in February 2009. I don't tend to read a lot of female Christian writers that aren't over 50, for some reason. But I was intrigued by the way that she honestly tackled some of the things most Christians don't like to admit are a regular part of the Walk. Instead of condemning people for being in a time of hiddenness, or trying to encourage them to work frantically to get out of it, Alicia goes straight to Scripture and the missing 30 years of Jesus' life to talk about how important it is to our growth to have these uncomfortable "anonymous seasons", as she calls them. God Himself treasures those times in our lives when we are revealed for who we are down to our bones, those times when He can have us all to Himself because we are laid bare before Him. Those are the periods He can work freely to make us strong enough to hand the dreams and plans He has for us.

I found this book to be encouraging, thoughtful, and above all wise. It really pays to have an accurate view of the seasons of your life so you don't miss what God is saying to you. Whether you've been a Christian for a long time or a little, this book will give you plenty to reflect on and be encouraged by.

Find out more about Alicia Chole at her ministry site, TruthPortraits.com.

Recommended Reading - Wayne Cordeiro's "The Divine Mentor"

This marks the first of a new series of posts I've wanted to add here for a long time. True, for those of you who aren't really part of the Christian faith or science buffs, most of these reviews probably won't do much for you other than give you an idea of what the inside of my head looks like. But for those of you who are looking for something to help deepen your faith and are as overwhelmed as I am by the sheer volume of written material out there, maybe this will give you something to start with.

I'm a strong believer that godly wisdom is absolutely necessary for anyone to live. Regardless of how old or young you are in Christ, without wisdom you will always be at the mercy of whatever Satan throws your way. That's why I constantly am seeking for ways to learn more about who God is and how the world works. Books by godly men and women are one source that we of the modern church rely on heavily today, oftentimes even more than we read the Bible itself. So perhaps it is ironic that the first book I'm recommending on my blog has as its subject matter how to make daily devotions in the Word our main source for wisdom.

In The Divine Mentor, Pastor Wayne Cordeiro gets very honest about how in his own life written commentaries and books "about" the Bible were not enough to help him stand under the pressures he felt during the early years of his career. Even though this man studied faithfully, served faithfully, and prayed faithfully for his congregation, he was still approaching burnout at a very high speed. All of his knowledge and all his godly living did nothing to stop this trend, and he was at a loss to explain why. At the very end of his endurance, the one thing that kept him from chucking away ministry all together was a daily time of study in the Word of God.

To Pastor Wayne, the Bible is not just some book that you have to read to be a "good Christian". Its not something you need to memorize facts about or learn to quote from word-perfect. Its God's gift for us to learn from the people who have gone before us, full of their stories, thoughts, experiences and wisdom. Its the only literature with His personal guarantee to have the power to actually change our lives. And its the only book on earth that He has said He will meet us within if we want to have a relationship with Him. Which leads Pastor Wayne to ask the very good question, why is it that so many Christians today fail to read the Bible itself but instead rely on books about the Bible for their spiritual growth?

One very good answer he gives is the disturbing trend of the number of Christians today who do not know how to feed themselves. Pastor Wayne gives the example of a child of 1 that you might feed with a spoon. Is it reasonable for that same child at 21 to expect his parents to continue to feed him baby food with a spoon? That food in child-size quantities is nowhere near enough to sustain his adult body, and he has already gained the ability to feed himself years ago. So the healthiest thing a parent could do for that 21-year-old would be to insist on him feeding himself on solid food that would sustain him. In the same way many of us in the American church have allowed ourselves to rely on being "spoon-fed" the Word by our pastors or favorite teachers. We have not learned the discipline of feeding ourselves with the raw nutrients of the naked Word itself, and so many of us find ourselves spiritually starving. When life gets rough and we don't have the strength to deal with it, we move on to the next teacher, the next church, and repeat the whole failing process again until we drain our ministry leaders dry. Its a trap that all of us fall into, regardless of our number of years with Christ.

Therefore the most important thing we as Christians can do to keep our spiritual bodies and churches strong is to feed ourselves from the actual Source. At the end of the book Pastor Wayne includes a method for devotional study called SOAP that has worked very well for him and many others. But regardless of the method you might choose, he emphasizes that its the consistent daily interaction with God's Word that is the beginning of wisdom for a walk that doesn't just survive, but thrives.

I highly recommend this book for anyone serious about sticking with the Faith. Even as a 20+ year-old Christian I've found plenty of things to encourage me to get back into the Word for myself, and I'm currently using the SOAP method for my own devotions. If you've been in church any length of time, you've probably heard similar topics before, but may not of considered the true role Scripture plays in our daily lives. Reconsider the truth of the familiar with Wayne Cordeiro's honest look at the importance of Scripture in his own walk with God.

Related Links: TheDivineMentor.com

Stopping To Catch Your Breath

I was originally hoping that this blog would be a sort of anchor for my thinking and a place for family to catch up on what I'm doing, but looking at the rate I've been writing I can only say that I must be more caught up in the speed of my life than I thought I was. If I were a married young mom, I'd understand it...having little kids leaves little time for inner reflection. But as a single person I have to admit I haven't been taking as much advantage of the amount of control I have over my daily living as I want to. How many life lessons have I missed out on simply because I've let things carry me at their own pace? How much of God's voice have I not heard just because I let the world get too loud? While there are times when its inevitable to get caught up in what's going on, I really don't believe that its wise to stay there.

So today I'm taking the opportunity to sit down and think some about all that's happened so far this year. Since Christmas I've had the joy to see my younger brother get married and attend my first real "family" get-together at their home over Easter. I've welcomed a new co-worker from China into the Jeffery Lab and lost a dear friend to sudden heart failure. I've seen my friends Adrian and Jessie welcome their third child into the world and move into a new (huge!) house. I've had friends at church get engaged and seen some lose their jobs. I've met new friends during Underground outings, seen our fledgling worship team grow in stability, started a new research project for the boss, sent off one worship pastor and welcomed a new one to Cornerstone. I've watched three undergrad students graduate, tried to start my new porch garden and joined a new softball team. There is so much I have to be thankful for, both good and sad, that I can't believe its only May. (You can see a lot of what I've been up to in the albums I've added to the blog.)

I turn 30 this June. In and of itself that's an interesting thing to think about. I always get reflective when I hit the 5's and 10's, that's probably normal. While there's a lot of things I think I could of done better, in the end I think I'm satisfied that I've made it to this age as the person I am. God has done a lot of work in me over the years, but I know He's nowhere near done yet. And as long as that is true, I can't stay satisfied with staying the person that I am at 30. So then, the question is, who do I want to be now? Where do I want to go from here? While God gives the growth, we are responsible working on the development, the self-control, the investment of time into ourselves and others. In light of the person I want to be 30 years from now, how do I walk today?

I have hopes, of course. Someday I would like to be married and starting a family of my own. I'd like to make an income that covers all the bills with a bit left over for saving and for play. It'd be great to have a house I'd like to live in for years, with a black Labrador for company and enough space for a veggie garden, a study/library, and a craft room. It'd be great to serve at the same church for at least a decade or more. And in my career I'd like to become the kind of technician that can enhance anyone's research, a specialist in doing science well and in running a lab to succeed. The funny thing is, I think I've been learning that all of those things are things that God has to give me. I can't really make any of them happen on my own. I can prepare for them, invest in the internal infrastructure my soul needs to live fruitfully during them, study to increase my toolbox for them but I can't make them happen. Its kind of like my garden. I can plant the seeds, enhance the soil, and water them everyday, but unless God says "grow", I won't get any tomatoes for my salad.

While I can't make my hopes reality, I can make the person I wish to be a reality. God may have to guide the how (because I'm really clueless about that) and He certainly will guide the events of when, but the choices I make each day are the foundation of who I will be tomorrow. They'll either be a platform I can build on or a weight pulling me down. So if I want to be a woman of wisdom, relatively good health, and joyful humor in 30 years then today I should choose to spend time with God, do a little exercise, and give something in service to somebody that makes them smile. I'll choose to challenge myself a little at work rather than sitting on my current expertise. I'll choose to not freak out over my income but work on honoring God with my money. I won't go headhunting for a guy just because I'm 30 and still single. If I faithfully do my work today, God won't leave me hanging. He's not that kind of God, after all.

Redemptive History

The first dawn of Humanity
A new world, a new life
A new relationship begun

Man and God inside the Garden
Creature and Creator together
Friends enjoying love and peace

“Walk with Me, talk with Me,
Trust in Me, follow My laws.
All-in-one, I will bless you.”

Purity, peace violated
Trust destroyed, infinite pain
A clean slate shattered forever

Costly knowledge, no relief
Eternal death, fear, separation
Friend turned bitter foe: rejection

How can You call torment blessing?

The first light of recovery
An old wall, a new way
A new relationship revealed

Man and God again united
Child and Father now together
Death, a doorway to His arms

“Come to me, be with Me,
Trust in me, for I love you.
In your Brother I will bless you.”

Purity and peace restored,
Trust renewed, infinite love
A slate is healed, made whole again

Sanctified knowledge, true relief
Eternal life, joy, salvation
Enemy made heir to heaven

This is what You meant by blessing.

Once upon a time we walked together.
Now You hold my hand.

I first wrote this my senior year of high school in Bible class, then tweaked it for my Systematic Theology term paper in college. One of the questions I've struggled with my whole life is why God would let His world suffer, regardless of whose fault it is that things are this way. There's no two ways about it, He chose to let man fall. It wasn't until I actually started understanding a bit more about what it means to be "redeemed" that I started finding an answer that settled me.

An Exercise in Logic

The following "essay" comes from a discussion I recently had over with some people at the jCafe Forum. I've spent half a year just hanging out with them, but things took a more serious turn over the holidays when one of the members posted a more serious thread about stuff he was going through at the time. Maybe because we've all been laughing together, all of us have found the forum to be a relaxing place to go despite the rough stuff in our lives. Anyways, this topic came up as part of the thread and I wanted to post it here, because I believe its something a lot of us struggle with, saved or not. I haven't exactly asked his permission to post his portion of this on my blog, but I think he'll forgive me.
------------

HiddenKaos:

Thus far no one has explained to me how an all knowing all loving being would allow a being such as Lucifer to exist. Allowing free will is one thing, allowing a creature to exist AND allowing that creature to corrupt the being he made in his own image doesn't seem exactly benevolent to me. And if he is indeed all knowing, then one would have to surmise he saw the outcome and allowed it.


mbiogirlumd:

As for your point about Lucifer and God allowing evil in the world:

A lot of people get stuck on that point, and to be honest I can't really say there's any one particularly right answer, because that perspective of God usually comes from something you've experienced as well as from a logical point of view (at least it did for me, and for most of the people I've met). So I'll give you what I think is a logical reply, but I don't know if it will really do much for you. To know "why" someone did something is entirely different from feeling ok about it. So the best answer to your question may be "I don't know".

I don't know, but I can guess. The first problem is that God is a different kind of being than humans. He has to be, or else He is not "God". I'm used to thinking of people in shades of good or evil, and trying not to define them in absolutes because that is too simple for them. But everything about God is absolute, because He defines things simply by existing. That means that I can take some absolute concepts and use them as a basis for understanding, concepts like God is the moral standard by which creation is defined, that He is the Ultimate in Goodness, that He is the best of everything that exists and so is NOT selfish when it comes to expecting worship, that He defines the concept of relationship, all of that besides what you mentioned before. So then why did He make the world, or angels? He doesn't need it to exist, but I believe that He made the world as an expression of Himself and who He is, much like an artist paints a picture. If then He is the best of everything (which follows because He made everything), than everything in the world would not be able to help themselves, they would have to acknowledge it in response to His existence.

But if He left it at that, I think it would be too one-sided. A perfect world that can't help but praise Him and has no choice in the matter, all that proves is that He's more powerful than everything and can make puppets. It would be like listening to compliments on a tape recorder over and over again, with no meaning or relationship behind it. For God's worth to be truly displayed, something would have to have the ability to choose to say, "Yes, you are the best of everything." At that point, God being the BEST of everything starts to mean something, because the chooser has an experiential reason to decide between one side or the other.

That's why I believe He created us in His image. Aside from what He made us to do, we have the ability to know Him relationally, a side of Him that wasn't expressed entirely before we were made, and we have the ability to choose Him over all other things in existence as the best. That ability does come with some issues though. The biggest obstacle is that whenever humans are given a choice in something, we always use our experience to evaluate the options. Without experience or values or desires, there is no difference for us between two options and so no real meaning in choosing one over the other. We basically become cosmic coin flips if something doesn't give meaning to our will.

The downside of giving free will to created creatures is that they can also NOT choose you. Anything that is NOT God or from God, anything that goes against who He is will result in the opposite, what we call evil. If this world existed outside of God somehow, that wouldn't be a problem, but because everything that has been made was made according to His rules and along with His nature, NOT choosing to follow Him causes pain, horrible brokenness, and death. We experience it interacting with the world outside of ourselves (floods, famines, all the natural tragedies we can't control), when interacting with each other, and even within ourselves. We basically destroy ourselves by pulling ourselves apart: our physical matter is operating according to God's rules, but the rest of us isn't.

I agree that God knew that was going to happen if He created beings with free will. He has to be a being that exists outside of time, or else He isn't God, after all. I don't think it was a problem for Him, because there is are sides of Him that come out because of the situation. The fact that He can and does have the right to judge evil, for example, or the fact that He has an absolute hatred for sin. But the more important result of this situation is that God has the opportunity to demonstrate in action just how deep His love goes, and just how powerful He is. By allowing us to hate Him, and then doing everything in His power to change our minds such as becoming one of us and dying in our place, we now have an experiential reason to say "Yes, You are the best." Now we don't have to just take it as part of the way things are, now we can actually incorporate it as part of our experience and as such use it to give our ability to choose a meaning.

Of course Jesus dying and rising again doesn't stop all the pain in the world from occurring, and it doesn't stop people from physically dying, not yet anyways. A lot of people ask "Well, why doesn't He just stop everything that's wrong right now?" I think that it has to do with the fact that God wants to show another part of Himself, His power over all the damage evil does. We know that if there is a beginning of time, there's going to be an end. Until that end comes, God is working in the world in the lives of people to overcome evil and the destruction it causes. Will there be wars? Sure. And will people get hurt and die? Absolutely. We live in a world where we can still choose His way or our way, remember? But God is so powerful that no matter how bad it gets, He can heal, He can restore, He can protect, and He can triumph. So when everything is done at the end of time, God will of been tested and proven in all situations to be powerful, faithful, and I'll even say loving.

Looking at it from that point of view, that means that whether I like it or not God's main interest in me and the rest of humanity is not exactly ME. The whole point of history is for someone who is able to choose to willing say that He really is the best of everything, because He's given them an experiential reason to say so. I believe that because He is the best, He wants everyone to experience who He is, but because we must be able to choose He will not just let all of humanity go unpunished for rebellion. Otherwise He negates any meaning in condemning evil. On the other hand He is working to give everyone a chance to acknowledge Him at least once in their lives, and whether they do or not He's still sustaining the world and its rules of operation, allowing them to live.

---end of theology lesson---

To be honest, there are parts of this logic that I find very difficult. Just because I can put together a framework that makes sense doesn't mean that I like it, or that I really feel any better about my place in the whole thing. Really I'd much rather know if God cares about me as an individual, and if He really knows what's going on in my life and will do something about it. Even becoming a Christian doesn't change that, and personally I think that's fine. A God that doesn't let me experience who He is, is a God I can't trust.

There you have it. I would be interested in hearing the opinions of anyone who actually reads my blog on the topic. Putting all of that into words actually helped me as much as I think it helped Kaos out, at least he has something he can think about. Sometimes the overemphasis on logic in the scientific field can do some good in ways I don't expect, as long as I don't make it the end of all things.

Creed

I believe in God the One and Only,
    Almighty Creator of the Universe,
    Father of the Trinity,
    Holy and Righteous Judge of my soul.

I believe in the fallen state of Man,
    The created image of God corrupted,
    His guiltiness in the light of the Word,
    His helplessness before the wrath of God.

I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ,
    The infinite God-Man, Son of the Father,
    Born to the Virgin Mary,
    The only Way, Truth, and Life.

I believe in the saving work of Christ,
    His sinless life on earth under the Law,
    His death on a cross for the sake of sinners,
    His resurrection on the third day unto life and glory.

I believe in the Holy Spirit,
    Mover of men's hearts,
    Revealer of the secrets of God,
    Comforting Counselor of the Christian.

I believe in one holy catholic church,
    The invisible kingdom of God,
    Chosen as His beloved elect,
    Justified and sanctified by the work of Christ.

I believe that my Lord is coming again.
    He will judge this world.
    He will condemn the guilty.
    He will receive unto Himself His saints
    And I will be with Him in glory for all eternity.

"Amen! Come, Lord Jesus!" Revelation 22:20b

   This poem was written for Bible Class my senior year of high school. I forget the assignment, but it takes its inspiration from Rich Mullins' song Creed.

Its a Body thing ~ March 2, 2003

A certain gentleman named Joe attended a church in town for a couple of years after his conversion at the age of 42. Then for some reason which no one could figure out, he stopped going. After about 6 months of this the pastor called up and arranged to visit Joe in his home. Joe greeted the pastor with warmth at the door and invited him into the living room, where he had two comfortable armchairs in front of the fireplace. They chatted amiably for about half an hour about the weather, golf and other such things until the pastor finally asked, "So Joe, why haven't you been at church for a while? I haven't seen you for about 6 months now." "Oh well, you know, pastor, I've discovered that I can do everything we do at church right here," Joe replied cheerfully. "I just pop out my hymnal and sing a few songs, watch the pastors on TV, even listen to your sermons on the radio. Its just like church, you know, but without all that hassle of people and de-icing your car. So I don't really need to go, see."

The pastor took this in with a thoughtful expression while Joe grinned at him. Then he reached over for the fire tongs, picked up a log from the center of the flames, and placed it on the hearth. Both he and Joe sat in silence, watching as the log slowly died out. Finally the pastor said, "Joe, that's what happens to each one of us when we separate ourselves from the body of Christ."

It's a body thing, really. The "church" is more than just a service we attend faithfully every Sunday. Its more than just a Bible study during the week, or that prayer partner you just can't get together with. It's more than a liturgy or a doctrinal statement or even a crowd of hypocrites. Its a living, breathing organism that grows, stumbles, serves, praises, fails, but above all it edifies. That's because the people who make up the church are in a dynamic new relationship, with God and with each other. It is together that we are God's people.

I think that's what Paul was getting at in I Corinthians 13. I can legitimately apply that passage to how I personally love individuals I am friends & family with, or dating, or married to, whatever. But when you apply it to how we are to relate to our fellow believers, suddenly your whole picture of the "church" changes. People who willingly choose to forgive when somebody gossips or lies to them? People who willingly choose not to gossip or complain because they want to build someone up to their face AND behind their backs? People who remember that their fellow believers are "dust", just like their Lord does? All of a sudden its a lot easier to be a sinner saved by grace, when people can love each other like that.

And that is so important to strive for, because once you are saved you are irrevocably tied to the imperfect people of God. Did you know that? We don't really have a choice in the matter. We can't choose our fellow believers (that's God's prerogative), and we are intimately tied together in such a way that when we hurt "the Body", we actually hurt ourselves. Its more than just Christ's reputation at stake when we choose not to love: its our own spiritual well-being, because God has designed the church in such a way that each person needs everyone else. By being in relationships with each other, especially in unifying to come before God's throne in worship and humility, we fuel the fire of our passion for Christ and His work. That's why Christ prays so long for unity among His followers (John 17). That's why Paul says that it is only together that we are made perfect.

Joe, by the way, got a clue. And as far as I know, he hasn't missed a Sunday since.

Unintentionally related to V-day ~ February 16, 2003

"Cause love is different than you'd think
Its never in a song or on a TV screen
And love is harder than a word
Said at the right time and everything's alright
Yeah, I said love is different than you would think"
Love Is Different ~ Caedmon's Call

I think I might of found the theme for my semester. It's an interesting phenomenon, but my school years have themes to them of hard concepts God wants me to learn. Last school year it was that God's grace is the place you gain the courage to see yourself as He sees you. This September I thought this year was going to be all about learning to stand on my own two feet, but it looks like that will just be a by-product of another, harder lesson: what it means to truly love someone.

I'm not really referring to romantic love. That's all well and good, but it finds it basis in another kind of love, relational love. I used to think that all it took to love my friends and family was to be really loyal to them, to try to take care of them and all that. That if I was friendly enough, tried not to expect to be repaid for what I gave, and offered a listening ear every once in a while that would be enough. That was it...that was love.

That kind of love doesn't hold up when you have your first real fight.

1 Corinthians 13 has been challenging me in ways I don't like (but I need) as we have been going through it in church. Paul has just spent two-thirds of a letter pointing out to the Corinthians how worldly they have been acting, when he comes to his trump card. "And now I will show you the most excellent way," he says. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs...it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." Wow. Now that is a love I want to know, to experience both giving and receiving. Its something I don't particularly understand, simply because I am so used to my old definition. And it is something I don't really have the power to create within myself. It requires the Spirit of God. How else would anybody be able to not be self-seeking or grudging when they get hurt?

This kind of love takes risks. People are broken down, rotten scum; they're going to hurt you no matter how you shield yourself. But despite all that true love can see past that to care about the offenders. It doesn't hold itself back just because its going to get hurt at some point, and it isn't taken by surprise because it holds a realistic view of people. It keeps us in contact with friends miles away, enables us to be faithful in marriage, and allows us to lay down our lives in a foreign country. It is a live, dynamic thing. But it sure takes some growing into. I only know a little, but I'll admit, I'm scared. I've had enough taken from me in my life to be very wary of taking risks in relationships. All the same, "love is different than you would think..." Maybe God is telling me that there's not really anything to be scared of.

Pass the Honey-eucalyptus, please... ~ February 3, 2003

I'm discovering that honesty in church is dangerous. Did you know that if you walk into a church where Christ is preached with a mind to see yourself as God sees you, you're asking for it? Yeah, caught me by surprise too. There I sat in the third pew from the front, listening to a sermon on how love is not "self-seeking", and even though I didn't particularly want to be depressed that day all I could think of was what a selfish prig I am. For those of you who disagree, thanks be to God for His grace to you. (For the rest of you, yeah yeah took me forever to catch on, right?)

But I took even more than a fresh outlook on myself away with me. I was reminded once again of the important fact that if you "get something" out of a sermon or a service, only one-half of that comes from the outside. The other half comes from what you bring with you. If I walk into church expecting to hear a word from the Lord about how I can obey Him, I'll hear it. If I sit down expecting to be bored out of my mind, counting the number of times people cough during the sermon is going to be such great fun! In a real sense, you help create the reality you inhabit. Our Lord never pushed people over until there was no other way for Him to get their attention (i.e. cleaning out the temple with some string). If you want to persist in closing your ears to Him, He'll let you. After all, the resulting misery is enough to break us.

Its funny how many Christians will say they know that true Christianity is more than just practicing your faith at church. And most will be eager to point out that they go to Bible studies or help out at Youth group or try to witness at work. And you know what, I'd say that too. But that makes it too easy for me to forget that the real stuff, the hard stuff that I need to be doing is relational, not action-al. Have you made a habit of listening to the Spirit during the week? Have you talked to the Lord about that pet sin you like to ignore? Have you laid down a burden at His feet before Sunday rolls around? Church has never been meant to be the only time when we get down and dirty with God to deal with what our hearts really feel. Heart-work is not something you can do at the flip of a switch. Its meant to be a part of our everyday, our outlook on life and our reason for perseverance.

So I suggest that everyone take some of the attitude that grows on you in church and plunk it right into your week. Then when Sunday comes again, you can take some of that actual practical new attitude into church with you. I guarantee that it will change what you get out of it.

When you want too much of a clue ~ January 26, 2003

Since I started off last semester by talking about wisdom, I thought I'd lack imagination and do the same for this one. Over this Christmas break I had the opportunity to consider the idea of "wisdom" in a new light. The Bible study which I was attending has been working through J. I. Packer's excellent book, Knowing God. At the time which I crashed in, they were discussing the chapter about "God's Wisdom and Ours".

Packer makes some very interesting points in this chapter, which is roughly based off of Ecclesiastes. Did you know that the Teacher is perfectly right? Life IS meaningless. Not once in the Bible does God promise us that He's going to fill us in on everything He's doing in history. Horrible and difficult things happen, like September 11, and it really doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Out of His grace and for the strengthening of our faith He sometimes lets us see something in hindsight, but really how often does that happen? Not enough for me, I can tell you.

Packer points out the fact that in reality, God's purposes behind life just can't be divined or understood by normal human, or even sanctified, reasoning. His ways are inscrutable unless He chooses to reveal Himself. We would do well do understand this. How many times have I caught myself trying to coach myself through a difficult time by trying to state that this or that must be the reason I'm going through it? And how many times have I just assumed in prayer that I've got a right to know, or that I have some special connection with God such that He's going to tell me all the time? And then when it doesn't happen I get angry and accuse God of breaking His part of the bargain. WHAT bargain?

The truth is, people, if you want to know why things happen in your life God's Word will tell you, not your own analysis of the situation or your basically childish prayers to God. Do you know why people suffer in this world? Because it is fallen. Why can't we find solid proof of exactly how God created the universe? Because the minds of men are in darkness. Maybe that isn't specific enough for you or me, but that's exactly what we need to understand to live. God is much bigger than all our attempts to peg Him down to this or that reason, this or that pattern. That is why the Teacher, in Ecclesiastes 12, concludes that we should "...fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man."

So next time you run across someone who feels like their life sucks, don't get offended by their "lack of faith" or try to explain "why" it happened to them. Just stand there and love them. Because you know what, life on this earth really does suck. But even so we have a great and merciful God who is working all to the good of those who love Him anyways, and we can count on Him to share with us exactly what we need to know for living. Now that is wisdom.

Are you afraid of heights? ~ December 3, 2002

The danger about getting on a soapbox is sooner or later you figure out that you are preaching to yourself just as much as to other people. You discover that all soapboxes do is provide better light for people to watch how you live and see if it matches up with all your talk. Once you know that, you find that all of a sudden it takes some courage to get up there and "preach" to people, especially about things you are struggling with yourself.

I've been thinking a lot about courage lately, maybe because I'm finally succumbing to the "senior willies". Its funny how scary life can get at times. Independence takes you by surprise, people you love die, you are faced with choices that could make or break you, sin just doesn't want to let go of your mind, lots of things. You wake up one day to the fact that life is full of hard, difficult things, things that hurt or require big risks. And I know for myself, I look at them and feel really small, scared, powerless, angry that I have to go through it all, frustrated that I'm not making progress. But it all boils down to the question, "Am I going to have courage?"

Courage is the willingness to take the risks and face the pain even when you don't feel like it. Its a choice to trust God to provide for everything you need, an honest acceptance of reality that doesn't lose faith in the sight of difficulty. Its not really an emotion, but more an action and an attitude. And it doesn't come easy. But I have yet to read of a saint or follower of God who didn't have to exercise courage at many points in his walk with the Lord. Its something that comes from God, but its also something we foster within ourselves.

Did you know that what you do effects your ability to have courage? I'm finding this out for myself this year. A lot of us are nervous about how we're going to handle life after graduation. You know what? Gaining experience and doing your studies thoroughly can give you courage in your own capabilities. That's why its important to do well in school, not for the grades but for the confidence that comes from having trained yourself well. A lot of us are nervous about sharing our faith, and whether what we believe will really hold up in the "real world". But if I'm studying the Word actively, if I'm challenging my mind and heart with Biblical teaching, and if I'm communing with my God every day, I'm not going to be stuck for an answer when the time comes. It will be a part of who I am. A lot of us are discouraged about sin in our lives that just won't let go, and we've given up struggling with it. Hey, facing sin for what it is and fighting it takes courage. The more we come to understand the power of God's grace to us, the less we fear defeat by sin because we know God's viewpoint. Looking at it His way helps us become able to put the sin in our lives to death.

There are a lot of things that we do, however, that can take away our courage. If I don't study well on a regular basis, I can't convince myself that I'm going to make it in grad school no matter how hard I try. If I don't tell God how I feel about everything in my life, even the things I don't want anyone to know about, I just can't bring myself to trust Him to work for my good in things although I believe it with my head. If I hide the fact that I'm scared by burying myself in "fun things" and I don't get up and do the stuff that enables me to live in this world I'm a part of, I'm going to have good reason to be scared of failure. Its a choice I make in how I spend my time, what things I put into my brain, and how I relate to my Savior. And it can either cripple me or make me able to fly. So think about it. What things give you courage to follow God wherever He leads? When to day comes and He asks you to stand alone, are you going to have the courage to do it?

So ask yourself a tough one ~ October 29, 2002

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about the Gospel. The question came up two weeks ago, "How would you explain the Gospel in 10 seconds?" 10 seconds is a really short time period, I discovered. All I could say is "Where do I start?!" But there's more to presenting the Gospel to someone than just giving a pat answer, although I do think its a good idea to have a 10 second sentence to help you understand the core of it. Invariably someone will ask things like, why did God make/allow evil in the world? Why do people suffer? And isn't it really His fault in the first place for allowing this to all happen?

Those are some tough questions, questions that require more than just a thoughtful answer though at least that. Any answer should be accompanied by an understanding love because they indicate a real deep hurt in someone's life, whether saved or not. And the answers are still the same for both, because of the existence of One we call Absolute Truth. Here is what I have been thinking for the past two weeks. Some of it I can't point to a single verse to justify it, but I can argue for it from what I understand of the character of God.

There are two basic concepts that I have to assume. God is sovereign, and God is a Redeemer. He has authority over everything, but He makes it His business to take that which is basically broken (I call that "evil" if you will) and turn it into something for His glory because He loves what He has made. Why did God allow evil into the world? Because He wants His image-bearers, those He loves more than life, to eagerly choose to love and serve Him of their own wills. Adam and Eve had a choice in the garden, either to love and serve God willingly or to disobey Him, to their own destruction. They had what I would call true "free will", even though He designed them to do the first so they kind of had a predisposition to one choice over the other. Sometimes people say that by putting the Trees there God was basically tempting Adam and Eve to sin and so its God's fault we're in this mess in the first place. Well, no...to tempt someone to do something they already have to have a desire towards doing it, otherwise it really had no effect on what they do. God stacked the cards in Adam's favor when He made him perfect, so to speak. That's what made the first sin all the more horrendous. Adam had to overcome an advantage to do what he did.

Once Adam sinned, the world basically started to break down. Sin became an ingrained, inherited part of the human nature and man's fellowship with God was utterly destroyed. Why is there suffering? Because mankind was not designed to deal with sin and death. We were designed for love, not hatred. For peace, and not war. We were meant to live and not die. We suffer because we are God's image-bearers who carry within us something totally against His character. Is it any wonder life hurts? A lot of people who ask this question really mean, "Why me?!" And although God's sovereignty is part of the answer, the rest of it is that this is the way our world works now. It happens to all of us, and really if we wanted to admit it, why have we been blessed with any good thing either? That's why the church is so important here on earth, because it is a visible reminder for broken humans of the love of God. He cares a lot that we hurt and are broken and He promises not to leave us there.

The next question often is why is God letting us continue to suffer? Why doesn't He just blow us away and be done with it? Well, that's kind of complicated. And I can't claim in any of this to have a complete answer. But what I can say from Scripture is that God is a just Redeemer. If God had killed Adam and Eve right at the start, He would of been justified in doing so. That was the law, if you sin you die. At the same time He made His image-bearers to be eternal beings like Himself, so while simply nullifying their existence might of removed the heinousness of their presence but it would not of satisfied His justice. "Eternal" guilt demands "eternal" punishment, which is how He deals with Satan and his minions. Did you know that Hell was not originally created to punish humans? Mankind wasn't made to ever go there, its primarily a place of punishment for Satan and his angels. (This is a Revelation idea, but I can't find an exact reference for it.) But because we are eternal beings too, following Satan's actions gets us in on his punishment too. So are you sure you really want what you're asking for?

But the more powerful answer to that question in my opinion comes back again to the fact that our God is a loving Redeemer. If any of you ever get the chance, pick up the Simarillion by J. R.R. Tolkien. In the first few chapters, he presents the rebellion of one of the "mighty beings" who decides he will sing his own melody and not the part he was made for by his Creator. The result is complete discordance in the creation of Erna, or the world of Middle Earth. The rest of the beings petition the Creator to destroy both the irreparably ruined new world and the one responsible for its destruction. But the Creator's answer was that He would so move that out of this one's rebellion he would bring greater glory to Himself. I love that answer, its so ironic. Despite Satan's attempts to steal God's glory, in the end he'll be used of God to bring about a greater good. So he can't ever win, he's still going to do what he was made to do and he knows it. I think the same is true for us. God's in the business of doing the impossible, of making His enemies His heirs. We are not going to stay broken, He is working through our world and ourselves to make for Himself a people who willingly choose above everything else to love and obey Him. Our God is greater than the suffering we have inflicted upon ourselves, and He's out to prove it.

That's why, Christian, "...we have this treasure in earthen vessels, to show that this power is from God and not from us." (2 Cor. 4:7) I don't think I mind suffering for a while if thru me the redeeming power of our awesome loving God can shine thru to this world He made. I want everyone to know! Isn't it worth it? One day I know that I will be able to stand in the presence of my King and declare that I choose Him above everything else, to willing serve and love, because He will have remade me to be able to say and mean that with everything I am. And that grace can belong to anyone because He freely offers it. Hallelujah! That's the Gospel to me.

So You Want To Be A Wise Guy... ~ October 16, 2002

Okay, I'll confess...I'm obsessed with something. Well, as obsessed as my personality gets. I've got this gung-ho attitude about wisdom. Its great stuff! I mean, just read Proverbs and you'll discover that it can save your life, give prosperity, help you endure hard times, and overcome your faults. It keeps you on the straight and narrow and it allows you to serve those around you. It can give you the vision to survive in the heartbroken world we live in and what's more, thrive in it. Who wouldn't want as much wisdom as possible?

Yesterday I kind of randomly picked up the diary of this guy who history says was the wisest man to ever exist. He lived his whole life to find out what was the purpose of existence (not an easy project), to see how the world worked and why. And amazingly, if he weren't marked as a good king of Israel, I would of called him a nihilist. "Meaningless! Meaningless!...Everything is meaningless!" Solomon looked at the world around him, saw the injustice and the futility of lives extinguished too soon, and could come to no better conclusion. In his eyes, death is the end. We can't take anything with us, even our "wisdom", so what's the point of self-indulgence or sacrifice? Or of taking tests, for that matter?

I like how he can't seem to keep falling down this slippery slope though. He keeps running into the roadblock that God is in charge. "A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without Him, who can eat or find enjoyment?" (Eccl. 2:24-25) The more I learn about the world outside the "bubble" (not just Grove City, but also the Christian heritage I've grown up in all my life), the more I learn how true this is. Mankind has no hope, he's broken and if he is all there is in this world there is no promise that we're going to get any better. The happiest unbeliever is living a lie, but they may not even know it because we are all trained to ignore the hopelessness of life. The most miserable Christian is living a lie too, because he/she has forgotten that hope within them that where they are isn't where they are going to be.

So this, then, is my conclusion to the matter. True wisdom comes from seeing the world as it is: sinful, broken, and hopeless. But it also comes from seeing how God Himself gives us the hope we need to thrive here. If He exists, and the whole Gospel is true, one day our world is not going to be like this anymore. We humans will be whole again, in our right minds and our proper place in Creation. We finally will overcome death, the very thing that makes our existence meaningless. We will have a purpose we can't forget. That's why we can go out and comfort those who mourn. That's why we don't have to be afraid of the worst stuff life can throw at us. That's why we can have joy. And that's why it is so important for those of us who know to reach out to those who don't. Christian, go live and share your hope.

Going Gumby ~ September 16, 2002

America as a nation has had a rough year. We've suffered under terrorist attack, gone to war for the first time in 10 years and attempted to unify ourselves and re-establish our national pride and confidence. But for all of that, it seems like our success has fallen drastically short of our ideals. When it comes right down to it, we haven't become any stronger morally, any wiser in our actions, or any more convinced of the sovereignty of God. We haven't become more courageous, or convicted, or compassionate. For the first time in our nation's history, we have been confronted with blatant hatred for us as a people, and we have lost all capability to respond.

To what do we owe this complacency, this apathetic response to disaster? I think there a lot of reasons, but I'll only mention a few. The first is what we commonly call "pluralism". Pluralism is not, as some believe, the existence of many different views side-by-side. If that were all it meant, we'd be fine. Rather pluralism is based on relativism, and morphs that idea into "what's good for you may not be fine for me, but everything is all the same in the end". Anyone who takes a stand for something is seen as a leftover from our un-enlightened forebears, and worse, their convictions are construed as a major reason why we have conflict and misery in the world society today. Thus, we as Americans have lost our backbone: we prefer not to risk our necks but would rather play it safe. And so instead of being a nation where a person has the freedom to live according to his beliefs, we get a society uncertain and insecure, unable to relate to the world around us whether secularly or religiously.

Nowhere is this attitude more dangerous than in religion. We Christians hear it all the time from the pulpit, a constant lament that people just don't stand up for what they believe anymore. We see the effects of our lack of courage as a church every day, as the world around us falls into more and more moral decay. Suddenly we feel helpless in the face of it all and instead of turning to God to restore that courage within us, we quit trying to relate, to care, to communicate. Then we quickly lose all of our tools for sharing the Gospel with other people. Take Islam, for example. Muslims in general are appalled by the apathy of the Christian church. Islam is a religion where practicing what you preach and revering the written law is the most important thing in one's life. A lot of Muslims out there can't understand why we say what we do and then don't live by it. How are we going to reach them, how are we going to find common ground when the best message we can come up with is "it's all the same anyways"? Islam has its martyrs too. They know what it means to stand for what they believe. It's to our shame that a false religion has a better claim to courage than the Truth. And it's not as if there are no open doors with Muslim people. The Koran itself says that if any would know more about Jesus and wisdom, to ask the followers of "the Way". But they won't ask people they don't respect.

In the end, we all have a choice. How am I going to respond to 9/11? Am I going to stand for the one thing that can overcome hatred of such proportions that a man would die to kill thousands? Am I going to regain and guard my courage to minister to a dying world? Am I going to follow Paul's example and become all things for all men so that I might save a few? The work is mind-boggling, but the rewards are great. Like the vision of Christian in Interpreter's house, he who does not take the castle by force cannot be welcomed therein.

How To Hold A Party in a Box ~ September 15, 2002

I'm discovering something I don't really like...I'm not as good of a leader as I thought I was. I have a horrible knack for ignoring/not seeing the needs of others around me unless they come up and smack me in the face with them. I don't really have a clue about what I'm doing, when I'm honest about it, and in the end I get up on my soapbox a little too often to do anyone any good. The long and short of it is that I've got a pride problem, and man does it suck! This whole month so far has been a lesson in how short of true Christian leadership I fall.

So what am I going to do with this revelation? Like the rest of humanity, being reminded of my own frailties is one of my least favorite activities of God. Boy would it be nice if I could throw myself a pity party and get away with it! Think about it...instead of losing face by admitting that yeah I'm not perfect, it wouldn't be my fault anymore. Really, its the people who wanted me to do this, they should of been spiritually enlightened enough to see my gifts don't match up. Or maybe its just that I'm misunderstood. Obviously I'm too spiritual for the people around me to handle, right? If I whine enough, someone will finally clue in that hey this is a hard job! and I'm to be commended for even trying. (Wow, this is sounding better all the time! Where'd I put that confetti...)

Unfortunately as soon as I start to boogie down to the "Martyr Blues", God decides to crash my little hoopla with disturbing regularity. Now I KNOW I did not invite the Big Guy to join me, for one thing He doesn't fit into my cardboard-box-sized-mentality and do you know how hard boxes are to fix once they get busted? Then He brings that stupid mirror with Him, you know, the one described in James 1:22-25 that shows us what we are really like. I seriously do NOT like looking at that thing, it is rather demoralizing. And honestly, when I see who I really am, what hope have I got that I will ever get this leader thing right? I can't even do my homework on time.

But I'm also learning that the God who wants us to see the way we really are is the same God who promises that "...neither height, nor depth, nor any other created thing shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:39) God knows I'm a wreck, I'm the only one who's surprised by the idea. No matter how much more ugliness I discover about myself it doesn't change the fact that He loves me more than anything, and He believes in my worth as a human being. If I'm in the position to be a leader in something, its because He put me there, and He's not frustrated by my failures. My grandpa has a saying stuck to his computer at home, "God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called." If that's the case, what's to be scared of? It may hurt to see myself the way I really am, but the more I see God's love for me the more I become the kind of person I want to be.

"What Fools These Mortals Be..." ~ September 8, 2002

I'm having a problem with presuppositions. More to the point, MY presuppositions, you know, those ideas I take for granted on how the world works. This Sunday in church I discovered that there are things that the Bible credits God with authority over that I just take as the normal course of nature. To see what I mean, read over Hannah's prayer in I Samuel. "The LORD brings death and makes alive..." Being a science major, I'm quick to say that life is the natural result of a sperm and an egg meeting and doing what they were designed to do. Death is just when the body finally runs out of gas, so to speak. "The LORD sends wealth and poverty..." Well now that is just a part of a free market economy, or any economy. Things like this would just happen that way whether God did anything or not, right? After all, doesn't He just interfere with the way His world works when He wants to get something out of the ordinary done? Other than that, He could leave it alone to operate on His principles and it would be just, well, normal.

WRONG!!! That view is not at all what the Bible takes of God and His world. According to Hannah, God does it all, and is the primary reason why I can even say that such and such is just a "natural" event. If God was not behind the scenes holding His creation together in the order with which He made it in, I would not be able to depend on gravity to always work the way it does, or the sun to burn at the rate it does, or the economy to function in a manner that I can count on getting paid for work I do. Sometimes we lose sight that just because we know so much more about HOW the world works around us, that doesn't mean we know WHY. Created things are not self-existent, endued with power to work independently of the energy of their Maker. It's like your cd player. It only works when it’s plugged in to a power source.

But I'm not used to thinking like this at all. Why don't I pray more fervently for people to be healed? Because I just assume that given rest, time, and medical treatment, they are just going to get better on their own. Why am I not more caring when a friend has a baby or someone loses a job? Because I forget that God is behind every spark of existence and every possible way in which it works out that life. Why do I think that prayer is ineffectual, that it won't really change anything? Well, that's me assuming that life as I know it is just going to go on the way it has whether I do anything or not. Like the Poet said, "What fools these mortals be..."