The danger about getting on a soapbox is sooner or later you figure out that you are preaching to yourself just as much as to other people. You discover that all soapboxes do is provide better light for people to watch how you live and see if it matches up with all your talk. Once you know that, you find that all of a sudden it takes some courage to get up there and "preach" to people, especially about things you are struggling with yourself.
I've been thinking a lot about courage lately, maybe because I'm finally succumbing to the "senior willies". Its funny how scary life can get at times. Independence takes you by surprise, people you love die, you are faced with choices that could make or break you, sin just doesn't want to let go of your mind, lots of things. You wake up one day to the fact that life is full of hard, difficult things, things that hurt or require big risks. And I know for myself, I look at them and feel really small, scared, powerless, angry that I have to go through it all, frustrated that I'm not making progress. But it all boils down to the question, "Am I going to have courage?"
Courage is the willingness to take the risks and face the pain even when you don't feel like it. Its a choice to trust God to provide for everything you need, an honest acceptance of reality that doesn't lose faith in the sight of difficulty. Its not really an emotion, but more an action and an attitude. And it doesn't come easy. But I have yet to read of a saint or follower of God who didn't have to exercise courage at many points in his walk with the Lord. Its something that comes from God, but its also something we foster within ourselves.
Did you know that what you do effects your ability to have courage? I'm finding this out for myself this year. A lot of us are nervous about how we're going to handle life after graduation. You know what? Gaining experience and doing your studies thoroughly can give you courage in your own capabilities. That's why its important to do well in school, not for the grades but for the confidence that comes from having trained yourself well. A lot of us are nervous about sharing our faith, and whether what we believe will really hold up in the "real world". But if I'm studying the Word actively, if I'm challenging my mind and heart with Biblical teaching, and if I'm communing with my God every day, I'm not going to be stuck for an answer when the time comes. It will be a part of who I am. A lot of us are discouraged about sin in our lives that just won't let go, and we've given up struggling with it. Hey, facing sin for what it is and fighting it takes courage. The more we come to understand the power of God's grace to us, the less we fear defeat by sin because we know God's viewpoint. Looking at it His way helps us become able to put the sin in our lives to death.
There are a lot of things that we do, however, that can take away our courage. If I don't study well on a regular basis, I can't convince myself that I'm going to make it in grad school no matter how hard I try. If I don't tell God how I feel about everything in my life, even the things I don't want anyone to know about, I just can't bring myself to trust Him to work for my good in things although I believe it with my head. If I hide the fact that I'm scared by burying myself in "fun things" and I don't get up and do the stuff that enables me to live in this world I'm a part of, I'm going to have good reason to be scared of failure. Its a choice I make in how I spend my time, what things I put into my brain, and how I relate to my Savior. And it can either cripple me or make me able to fly. So think about it. What things give you courage to follow God wherever He leads? When to day comes and He asks you to stand alone, are you going to have the courage to do it?
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