Every once in a while I hear rumor of some people wondering if I get truth laid on me as heavy as I hand it out. Well, lest there be any doubt about it, yes. Actually I get it laid on me a lot harder than I give it out most of the time, because it often comes from the person who knows me the best and who I consider my mentor in a lot of ways, my mom. Mum is great, she's got a way of cutting right to the heart of things that I often choose to waffle around in and she doesn't see any reason to cut me any slack when she knows I know better. Everybody should have someone like that in their life.

The most recent 2x4 she handed me was a reminder of the cost of things you commit to. This is an idea I know fairly well, but hate to apply because at heart I'm a lazy little bum that would like commitments to be easy. Sometimes they are. Most of the time, they're not. Maybe for that reason I'm real good at only committing myself to something half-way, and talking myself into believing that's good enough because "I'm busy" or "There's so much going on" or "I really need to give myself a break". Why not? After all, I'm working on it, right? You can't expect someone to be perfect, and some effort's got to be better than none. "I know I struggle here, but at least I'm working on it." Or how about "This is all I can do right now, I just don't have the energy to put up a good fight. Maybe in another month or so..."

Mum reminded me in no uncertain terms that considering how much energy and time you realistically have is part of counting the cost of what you commit to. If I've commited to so many hours at work a week and so many hours of studying for class, I've got to be prepared to give up those other things I've been letting myself get into that take the energy and time I need to do my best. I've got to be ready to be little more disciplined so I can perform well, and to be willing to stand up to the people around me for whatever lifestyle changes I make. If someone views trust as a matter of time spent and that's not how I operate, I need to consider what it will take for me to be able to relate to them and if its worth the effort. Its enough to make you wonder why people make commitments at all, with all the work involved.

But commitments are what move us forward in life, aren't they? Its the people who won't give their word, or give it too lightly that don't seem to progress much. To purpose to do something and then knowingly do what it takes to carry it out, that simple mindset is all it takes to discover the structure of DNA, restore a broken family, even save humanity. Maybe that's why we follow people with a "strong" dream.

Eeep! I ran out of time to muse! Well, this is what I've been thinking about lately gang, so if you start to wonder why I'm less available then usual, check the library, I'm probably studying for class. Mum got that right. ^_^