Recommended Reading - "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace

Sorry guys, this book probably won't help you out much, since its directed towards women.   

    I borrowed this book from a married friend of mine after having a conversation with them about how easy it is for a woman to become too "independent" in relationships if they live on their own for a while.  And while that certainly was something I needed to think about, that wasn't the greatest benefit I got from reading it. Mrs. Peace has filled these pages with a specific breakdown of what the Bible expects from godly wives and paired that with practical and accurate illustrations of the things we women face when considering or establishing a marriage.  Several of those principles may seem at total odds with our more liberal way of thinking today, but don't allow yourself to be distracted by thinking she's just promoting old conservative stereotypes on today's young women.  The real treasure in this volume lies in how she ties all the specific problems she addresses to a real, biblical solution clearly seen in specific verses.  It works, because those solutions are all rooted in the things we should already be doing to become more like Christ every day.  No other book I've read on this subject has so clearly rooted answers to marriage struggles into the daily Christian walk.   For that reason alone, I'm glad I read this.  I'm very encouraged that even if I don't agree 100% with every guideline the author has set down, I can be confident that if I am chasing after Jesus in everything, I have no reason to fear that my marriage will break down because of either me or things I can't handle.

    The other reason I'm glad I read this book is that this is the first one I've read that promotes a more conservative view of being a wife while realistically addressing that wives may need protection from their own husbands at times.  Growing up I also bought into the false idea that becoming a submissive wife was like giving them permission to beat on you, either physically, spiritually, or emotionally.  I knew deep down that couldn't be right, but somehow that idea that submission meant you never called your husband on his sin or protected yourself from his poor behavior still was beat into me as what was "expected" from a godly wife.  However Mrs. Peace demonstrates clearly from the Bible that a wife's role includes being used to gently reprove a husband's sin and thus build him up in his own faith.  And she shows that there are legitimate protections God puts in place that a wife has responsibility to avail herself of if her husband continues to behave in an ungodly manner.  That's why even though I'm still struggling with some of the guidelines she's outlined as a wife's duty in a marriage, I'm much more willing to accept her discussion as a whole.  Not only has she drawn everything from Scripture and related to the Christian's path, but she has also been incredibly realistic about the problems wives can find themselves facing.  By addressing these very real issues, I'm much more convinced that her conclusions hold water.

   This book is very worthwhile reading for any Christian lady either married or considering marriage in the future.  I would recommend that you read "The Power of Being A Woman" by Michelle McKinny Hammond first, to combat some of the thinking traps we've all gotten into about womanhood and submission if you've been in the church for any length of time.  Just remember to leave your hypersensitivity at the door, and you will find plenty to benefit you in these pages.