The following is a short discourse I did at jCafe for one of my friends as a joke. It turned out to be pretty well received, so I'm submitting it here for your amusement. Enjoy!

"Theories on Invisibility"

Law #1: To be invisible, one must simply not be noticed. From this Law, the following Theories may be deduced:

Theory #1: If an observer is prevented from registering that an object should be focused on, his brain will file the peripheral data away as unimportant, and except in the rare cases of highly observant individuals, will not retain that object in his memory, rendering the object essentially "invisible". Thus if one wishes to be invisible, one should not perform actions that would attract attention but rather blend in with the surroundings, essentially becoming part of the "background noise" that the human brain filters out every day. This is all so known as the 1st Law of the Assassin.

Theory #2: If something is of greater interest is presented to an observer, the surroundings are usually not noticed. Ergo, by switching the focus of the observer to something else, the original object essentially becomes "invisible". This is generally known as the Art of Distraction, a standard technique among practitioners of ninjitsu and politics.

Theory #3: If the object is not within the observer's sphere of observation, that object is in fact "invisible" to the said observer. This theory is supported by the fact that the more scientists refine their tools for observing the world, the more they see in it. Those objects have essentially become visible to the observer, and as such, have become a part of the observer's reality. Schrodinger's cat comes to mind here.


Law #2: For the human being, "visibility" is based upon the interaction between the refraction/reflection of light, the chemical makeup of the rods and cones of the retina, the transmission of that data via the nervous system, the processing of that data into something cognitively recognizable in the optic tectum, and the storing of that information in the memory centers of the brain. This system offers the following possibilities for becoming invisible:

Theory #4: Change the qualities of the light. As most of us probably know, light possesses the qualities of a wave, and as such an be interfered with as if it were a wave. A light wave could be canceled out if it ran into a light wave with matching intensity but differing phase, much like soundwaves.

If such a state were achieved, the object emitting that wave would essentially become "invisible" to an observer, because there would be no light reflected/refracted to observe.

Theory #5: In a similar vein to Theory #4, if light is prevented from reflecting/refracting by being absorbed and then re-emitted in an different direction than towards the observer, the object will become "invisible". This is a current theory being worked on by some of my friends in electrical engineering, and it relies upon the fact that a rod of the same length as a period of frequency of a lightwave will completely absorb that wave. Depending upon the geometrical arrangement of a series of these rods in a grid pattern, that wave can then be re-emitted in a different direction entirely, changing the pattern of reflection/refraction in such a way that the observer does not perceive what is truly there. There's a lot more to it, of course, but that's the basic idea. For the more technically minded, I submit http://labs.ee.psu.edu/labs/dwernergroup/default.htm for further reference. In the future, Harry Potter might get his Cloak after all.

Theory #6: As an alternative to Theory #5, just changing the angle of reflection/refraction can change an observer's perception of an object. This sort of technique is used by many professional magicians and stagehands to present optical illusions to an audience. The most common mediums of such are various mirrors, such as one might find in a carnival fun house, and gases.

Theory #7: If the light cannot be altered, alter the equipment used to receive and process that light. For humans, this would mean messing with their eyes and brains from the inside. The most practical point for doing so is to mess with the storage of data in the memory banks. Alcohol is a well-known interrupter of this pathway, as is coshing someone on the side of the head. The first alternative, however, is less fraught with legal peril. Addictive drugs might also be used, with their own range of repercussions.

These theories suggest a wide range of practical possibilities that could be used to make someone "invisible". I hearby suggest the following for experimental testing:

1) Rei-nee should train as an assassin. Or enroll in a spy academy to learn how to "blend in".
2) Rei-nee should train as a ninja. Or make friends with a large, outgoing person who loves attracting attention.
3) Rei-nee should go on vacation. You can't see what isn't there.
4) Rei-nee should stop being an angel and become a light source.
5) Rei-nee should buy a real Invisibility cloak made by these nerdy guys. They're pretty close to doing it, for infrared light anyways.
6) Rei-nee should study as a magician, or go around wearing mirrors from head to toe.
7) Rei-nee should always carry around large supplies of alcohol with which to either seduce or cosh her observers. Drugs would be easier to transport, but there are so many problems with that.

Any data (such as pictures) collected on the above suggestions would be welcomed. Class dismissed!